Friday – Afternoon.
June 25th, 2006
Dear Diary,
What an uncomfortable weekend! The whole time Christy and I stayed in her house, watched T.V., was on the computer and baked brownies. B-O-R-I-N-G. I found myself feeling different around Christy and how I used to be around her. This is the first time in two months that I’ve slept over her house and hanging out with her does not feel the same as before. I don’t know, I just feel that we have been so distant from each other that I have grown out of our friendship and have been talking to other people about my problems instead of talking to her. It’s not that I have chosen the way we are now, I mean ever since the pregnancy we have not talked as much because I am afraid of how she might come out to me about her problems… I do not want to make her feel offended by me, reason why I keep my mouth shut about the baby or Jude.
And speaking of Jude, I talked to him the other day in the court-yard during lunch. He mentioned how he has not spoken to Christina in a while. It is a shame how he is not taking full responsibility of the situation. I told him that he should try talking and work things out again with her, but he refuses to even look at her. He says that he does not want to be involved in a child’s life at this age.
Typical.
-Erin
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Monday – Afternoon.
June 28th, 2006
Dear Diary,
What a day. Today was the last day of school, and man, what a way to end the school year. It was early dismissal today and I was standing by the entrance of the school, waiting for a few people to come out. I was with Kevin and his friends while the whole thing happened. People were leaving the campus, students were screaming out ‘slut! Slut!’ A bunch of people was making a scene towards this one person walking out of school. Trash was thrown into the air as this big crowd walked out of school. I did not think that it was a big deal since everybody was hype for the last day of school and it would be the last to see people until two months later, in September.
I then realized that people were yelling at Christina as she left the building. Majority of the people were boys calling her slut and the girls just followed and laughed, even her softball team was there, tossing garbage at her head. She was covered in garbage and nobody was doing anything about it.
Worse enough, Jude was involved in the act.
I ran up to Christy to try to cover her from all the garbage being thrown at her, but she kept on walking, purposely not acknowledging my presence. It seemed like she did not want to get me involved by people throwing trash at me, though by the look in her face she looked like she needed a lot of help.
She walked up to her mom’s car, paused to look at me and did not say one word. In the background, I could still hear people yelling at her, but she just ignored it. She slowly entered her mom’s car and drove away.
That was when I turned around and started yelling at people; “what the hell is your problem! Why are you guys attacking Christy?
One of the boys yelled out “she’s a slut! That bitch is pregnant and doesn't even know who the father is!” Then everybody starts laughing.
Then I yelled “is that any of your business?! And besides, the father of that child is right next to you my friend, JUDE DELIAN!”
Everybody looked at Jude with a confused face. Jude started to deny the whole thing and started to make up a story that she was fucked over by some guy at a party. He started calling her all these names to cover up the fact that he was accused by me, and surprisingly enough, people bought it—they actually believed him.
That was when I walked up to Jude and looked at him straight in the eye and said “how pathetic.” Then walked away.
I felt relieved after letting that out. I don't know why, but it felt good saying that to Jude.
Kevin ended up taking me out to lunch, just to cool me down from anything that happened today—which really helped.
-Erin
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Blogger.com
June 29th, 2006
7:00 AM
I hate my life.
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Blogger.com
June 29th, 2006
3:50 PM
What a night to remember. Yesterday I probably experienced the worse day of my life. It was the last day of school and I walked out of class thinking ‘finally a day I could go home and not go to school for the next two months.’ As soon as I walked out of class, I noticed a whole bunch of kids outside in the hallway, throwing paper around- celebrating that it was the last day of school. I looked at them for a moment, and grinned, then started walking towards the front of school. Suddenly the same crowd of students that were throwing the paper around started yelling “hey slut!” I ignored the call, assuming it was for some other girl that was possibly joking around with some other girl. Then a whole bunch of guys started yelling ‘Christina is a slut!’ Then they all started laughing.
As my response, I immediately started walking towards my mom car that I had borrowed for the day.
I heard the calls getting louder and louder, soon enough the crowd who kept calling me a slut was right behind me. I did not do anything about the people yelling at me. I just kept on walking, trying my best to ignore the people that were all in my face. Trash was then thrown at me. Deep inside I felt this rage. How is this happening to me? What did I do that made them so hectic about me being a slut? I did not doing anything out of the ordinary in the past two month. All I have done was go to school and go home because of my pregnancy.
It came to my attention that Jude was in that same crowd. I felt betrayed. I knew he had something to do with the mess.
Then I see Erin run up to me, trying to protect me from the people who were abusing me. I did not want to ruin her rep, as bad as my rep is ruined already, so I tried to ignore her so she would not get as much damage that I was getting. Even though I did not want her there to get hurt, to my surprise I felt a little better that she was there. I know we have not been close in a couple of days, but it felt good that she was there for me.
However, that was not the end of my day. As I was driving home, I felt this pain inside, as if I were being cut from the inside out. I started crying in the car, just to let it all out. I arrived home around thirty minutes later. Mom was home so it was tough trying to ignore the fact that something had happened to me today in school. I told her I felt sick so I ran straight into the bathroom to take a quick shower and dressed up, leaving no sign that anything happened. After my shower, I went into my room and closed the door behind me. I lied down on the bed, looking at the ceiling, thinking about everything that happened today. I thought about calling Erin to thank her, but I didn't. I started to cry all over again—that was when my mom walked in.
Quickly I tried to wipe away my tears, but like every mother, she tried to figure out what was wrong. I told her it was nothing, but she did not believe me.
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