Revelation Story - Diary Entry Add on Part 3

Wednesday – Late Afternoon.
April 19th, 2006
Dear Diary,

So I’m at home, watching a movie while Christy is in the bathroom, taking a shower. She is sleeping over for the night- said that she needed the time away from her mom and dad because they’re putting a lot of pressure on her about school.

She told me about her conversation with Jude the other day. He told her to get an abortion- obviously to make things easier for him and her, but she told me she was totally against it. She mentioned that before she headed into the shower. I can see where Jude is coming from though, I mean he actually has a point about having an abortion. Even though abortion ‘kills a baby’, it will save Christy a whole lot of money and sacrifice that would have eventually been made, if she kept the baby, which she IS planning to do. To imagine she kept the baby? Things would be very hard on her than it is right now. She would be taking care of the baby, possibly during school and buying clothes, food and diapers-- money that could be spent on her college tuition by the time she graduates. She is only sophomore, and by the time she does have the baby, she will be in her junior year, trying to prepare for college, but because of the baby, she is going to be distracted and is not going to have the time to focus on her studies. I don’t know, maybe I am being too harsh on her situation.

But Christina needs to be rational. I hope she knows what she is doing.

-Erin


Blogger.com (on PRIVATE mode)
June 13th, 2006
7:28PM

So it two months have passed and I am exhausted. School ends in about a week or so, and I cannot wait until that day comes. A lot has happened within the two months. For starters, a week or two after my breakdown about Jude in April, I told my coach that I was not going to be able to play softball for the rest of the year. She looked disappointed and was curious why. I was in her office when I told her, so I closed the door behind me and told her that it was personal why I am deciding to quit the team. Looking straight at me, she said that if I need any help that she is always there for me, as her coach or as a friend that I can depend on her for anything. I said thanks, and just left the room feeling terrible about myself.

After our conversation, I started to feel nauseous. I headed into the girls bathroom and was in front of the sink, in a position where I was ready to vomit. I looked at myself in the mirror, tears forming in my eyes, trying to figure out where all this pain in coming from. As I am thinking, looking myself in the mirror, I start rubbing my stomach under my baggy sweater. I can feel how it has gotten bigger than it was two months ago. My stomach started irritating me, causing me to cough so much that I dropped my stuff and ran into the stall, leaned against the toilet and started throwing up. It was about o’clock, after school, so I figured nobody would be around to hear me in the bathroom. That was when this girl walked into the bathroom. I didn't pay her any mind for the simple fact I was dealing with my own problem and did not want her to get involved. I continued to throw up after five minutes, and then finally came to a stop. I cleaned myself up from the sink and started to gather my things until the same girl asked me if I were okay. I looked at her for a moment and recognized her from one of my classes. It is a very big class so I wasn’t able to remember her name. I responded to her telling her I “yeah, I’m fine,”

She quickly replied saying, “are you sure? I can get help if you want?”
I told her “it’s fine, it’s fine.”
As I left the bathroom, I told “thanks… for being concerned and all.”

As I was walking out of the school, I started to feel a little better.

I got home thirty minutes after I left and was thinking about this baby and what to do. I locked myself in my bedroom for the past couple of hours- ever since I got back from school. I took a shower, changed my clothes and started to clean up my room. Cleaning up is an odd way of me to get stuff out of my mind. I just tried to keep myself busy, but every time I passed by the mirror, I couldn't stop looking at my self.

I paused for a moment and started lifting up my shirt. In my head, I’m thinking “I can’t believe this is happening.”

I started to think about mom and dad and if I should break the news to them now.