Revelation Story - Diary Entry Add on Part 2

Blogger.com (on PRIVATE mode)
April 15th, 2006
2:33

Christina here. I haven’t been on my blog in a while. It’s not like anybody reads this thing anyways. Words can’t even describe what I’ve been going through for the past few days. Softball has been hitting me hard lately. There is a lot of pressure on the field with me being the pitcher and all. With the girls on my team and the people in class have been getting on my nerves too. I have been stressed out with classes, with teachers and with softball all at once. I was TRYING, past tense, to make time for Jude—just to hang out with him and what not, but it seems like there is no need for that now that he is not talking to me. It started two weeks ago and still going till this very day.

This is why he will not talk to me—[BRACE YOURSELF]
Last week I found out I was pregnant. I am trying to accept the fact that I am pregnant, though it has been difficult for the past few days. When I found out, it was very dramatic.
Mom and Dad weren’t home that same night so I invited Jude over. We were just hanging out kissing and all, till I realized that I should have gotten my period two weeks ago. I started freaking out and that when I called Erin over to help me, the only girl I can count on. By the time she came Jude was already out, buying a pregnancy test.

Long story short, the test turned out positive and on that same night Jude left the house yelling how this can’t be happening because he was ‘sixteen’. He’s not the one carrying a child inside of him! Well, I’m not sure if we broke up or not, but I plan on calling him later. It has been two weeks and I haven’t talked to him ever since that day. He refuses to talk to me in school, or even look at me. It’s ridiculous how he thinks it’s about himself before me.

Not only is Jude not talking to me, but I also have to break the news to mom and dad. I still am not sure if I should. Erin is suggesting that I tell them sooner rather than later… but I just don’t know.

<3Christina
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Blogger.com (on PRIVATE mode)
April 16th, 2006
10:06

I got a chance to talk to Jude last night. He sounds like he does not care about us anymore and more about himself. I asked him why couldn’t he stay for me, for us? In response, he said that he did not want to have anything to do with me or the baby. I snapped back saying that it he has to deal with it because it was his sperm that leaked into my system.
That was when he paused and said that he has the choice to not support me if he wanted to.

What an ass.

Then he suggested about getting an abortion or else he would not talk to me anymore. I know the affects of having an abortion- mentally and physically and I am not up for that. Not only am I not ready to feel mentally and physically depressed, but I am not going to shove a metal tool up my vagina, into my uterus, to scrape a fetus out of my body. No sir. That is not going to happen to me.

I am totally against abortion!

As much as I would want Jude there for me, I can live without him if it means not getting an abortion because I chose not to.

<3Christina

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Wednesday - Art Elective.
April 19th, 2006
Dear Diary,
I am in art, and the teacher thinks I am sketching in my book or something.

So the last time I wrote I was interrupted by a phone call from Kevin. Ironically he goes to Sierra Vista, the same high school as I do. I told him I never see him around school. He says it because he has a different lunch schedule than I do and has football practice after school to prepare for next year’s season. I’m telling you, this guy is such a gentleman. Enough about Kevin… I don’t want to ramble about a guy that I just met.

With Christina, I’ve been trying to help her out lately. Surprisingly she has not cried as dramatic as she cried that night of her pregnancy test discovery. I could tell that she is trying to act as if nothing has happened. But every time she passes by Jude in the hallway she starts tearing up, remembering the trouble she is going through. It is tough, but I know Christy’s a strong girl.

I will write more tonight… Ms. Shelley is telling me to put my ‘sketch book’ away and start painting up a real portrait.

-Erin

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Blogger.com (on PRIVATE mode)
April 19th, 2006
1:15PM

I can’t take it anymore!!!

Jude is in one of my classes and will not even stop to talk to me after I asked to talk with him after biology. I swear that boy has a lot of balls to be running away from his problems than trying to work it out.

I just don’t understand why he is suddenly turning his back on me. He said he was always going to be there for me. He said he’d never let me go. Even through the tough times with these girls in school he’s been there for me, but now he can’t bear to even look at me. I’ve already asked his friends to talk to him for me, but the same responses keep popping up “He doesn’t feel like talking now Chris, sorry.”

Jude seriously makes me feel like shit every time I walk by him.

Unbelievable how boys act now a days. I thought he would have been the one to help me, but unfortunately he has to be a typical boy who doesn’t give a crap except for himself.

Fuck Jude.

<3Christina