Final Draft - Revelation Story

And it was Friday
By: Melanie Dionisio

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Erin Peterson has a Diary
Christina Gomez has a Blog

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(Early) Friday morning.
April 7th, 2006
Dear Diary,

It’s me, Erin. I am so exhausted. It is 2 o'clock in the morning, just got back from Christy's house. She called me over around ten and said that it was an emergency. When I got to her house I noticed there was no car in the drive way, assuming her parents were not home. I walked into her house finding a bright light leading up the stairs. Everything else in her house was dark. I walked towards the light where I found Christy in her room crying. She told me that Jude had left the house just a while ago to the 24/7 drugstore. I asked her what for? She didn’t answer.
I looked around and all I could see was tissues scattered around her bed and asked her what’s wrong. She told me it’s been a little over a month and she did not get her period yet. I thought she was just over reacting because of the exams we've been getting lately and her activity during softball.

Jude came back from the store. He looked miserable... like he hasn’t been sleeping for days. He handed a box to Christy, then immediately left the room. Christy headed into the bathroom and closed the door shut.

Twenty minutes passed and I could hear Christy crying from the other side of the door. I knocked on the door and asked to come in. She slowly opened the door and as I walked in I could see the pregnancy test already thrown into the bath tub.
I tried to comfort her but she couldn't stop crying. She kept repeating over and over again "I can't believe this is happening".

Picking up the Pregnancy test, I put it back into the box and put it on top of the sink. I brought Christy back into her room where Jude, back from down stairs, was nervously pacing back and forth. While Christy was crying, I told him the news.

Jude paused for a moment and just yelled, "I can't do this anymore... I mean this can't be happening!"

That was when I told Jude “Calm down. Things are going to be alright, just relax.”

"Thing’s are NOT going to be alright Erin!” Then he began to stutter, “I...I... I can’t be here... This is just too much.... are you sure it said positive?”

I walked back into the bathroom, picked up the box with the pregnancy test inside and handed it to him. He took the test and started reading the directions on the box, then back at the test.

“We're only 16 years old..... You just can't be pregnant! This can’t be happening!" He yelled.

I told Jude he has to help her, but he refused to. He said he wanted no part of her and the baby… and so he left the house.

Christy started crying hysterically. I had to calm her down so I stayed for a while till she was able to sleep. I told her I’d stop on by in the morning because it was already too late.

I left her lying in her bed and left the house, with the stereo on to keep her company.

And now I am home.

As her best friend, I am always there to support her. But to be having a baby at a time like this; during our high school year is unimaginable. I mean, if she keeps the baby, will she finish high school?

Well it is too much to think about at 2 in the morning, really late, and I have school the tomorrow.

More to come soon.

-Erin

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Saturday - Mid-day.
April 15th, 2006
Dear Diary,

Alright, it’s Saturday and for the past two weeks it’s been rough for Christy. So far she hasn’t gotten in contact with Jude, nor has he been trying to call her – what an ass –and not only that, her parents do not know the bad news. She said she is not planning to tell anyone until the bump actually appears –totally a bad idea. I think she wants to play it off as if she didn’t know she were pregnant, but no girl can pull off a day without freaking out, knowing that she is pregnant. I’m sure Jude told a few of his friends of his, knowing how boys are.

Christy didn’t come to school last Friday, the day I came to her house that early morning. She came back to school the following week that passed and everybody could tell that something was wrong with her by the way she was acting. People knew it had something to do with Jude for the fact that he kept walking right past her when they were in the halls.

Poor Christy, I just feel so bad for her. ☹

Last night I had a talk with her to figure out how everything came to place. She told me it was that party we, Christy, Jude and I, went to last month where she got soooo drunk. Jude drove us to some guy’s place where he was throwing a party with all these people from school. I knew a few kids there, but everybody else was people from Cali heading east of Vegas and just dropped on by. I remember a lot of people got wasted. That night girls were tripping over the coffee tables, guys’ spazzing and cracking jokes on each other. There was this one girl who wouldn’t stop crying too ha-ha - I found that really funny. That place was just a mess when I left.

Though, before I left, I was looking for Christy and she was no where to be found. I thought she was in the bathroom or with Jude somewhere so I just waited, talking to this really cute guy who was sober, not too drunk to talk to.

Christy said she doesn’t remember what happened that night, only that she didn’t have any underwear on when she got to Jude’s house. She figured that it was Jude since he brought her home the following day.

I on the other hand got a ride from the cute guy at the party. I left a couple of hours before Christy and Jude because I thought they left without me.

Christy thinks she got pregnant that same night of the party. She thinks that while she was drunk, Jude and she had unprotected sex, which probably explains the stained jeans she was wearing that night.

I mean the last party we went to was not too long ago either and this time I looked out for Christy, just to make sure I would not leave without her, or she leave without me.
I just can’t believe this is happening to her, my own best friend is pregnant. We used to make jokes about how I’d be the godmother of her children but I never would have thought that this day would be coming while we are in high school. Who would have thought that Christy would get pregnant? She’s surprisingly a straight A student, and is an amazing soft ball player, though a lot of girls get jealous of that just because she is sophomore playing in a varsity softball team.

I hope her pregnancy doesn’t ruin her rep in school. She a nice girl but a lot of other girls is tough on her because they are jealous! She doesn’t stick up for herself a lot, just lets people walk on her as they criticize her—usually Jude is there to stick up for her. I on the other hand am never there when she gets called on. I wish I were so I could snap at those bitches…. Well I’m going to the movies in a little bit with the cute guy from the party. His name is Kevin. We started hanging out a week after the party and we really hit it off. He’s really nice... and well….

(Phone rings)

Ill gets to the details later!

-Erin

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Blogger.com (on PRIVATE mode)
April 15th, 2006
2:33 PM

Christina here. I haven’t been on my blog in a while. It’s not like anybody reads this thing anyways. But still, I will try to update this blog weekly about by experiences and what not.

Words can’t even describe what I’ve been going through for the past few days. Softball has been hitting me hard lately. There is a lot of pressure on the field with me being the pitcher and all. With the girls on my team and the people in class have been getting on my nerves too. I have been stressed out with classes, with teachers and with softball all at once. I was TRYING, past tense, to make time for Jude—just to hang out with him and what not, but it seems like there is no need for that now that he is not talking to me. It started two weeks ago and still going till this very day.

This is why he will not talk to me—[BRACE YOURSELF]
Last week I found out I was pregnant. I am trying to accept the fact that I am pregnant, though it has been difficult for the past few days. When I found out, it was very dramatic.
Mom and Dad weren’t home that same night so I invited Jude over. We were just hanging out kissing and all, till I realized that I should have gotten my period two weeks ago. I started freaking out and that when I called Erin over to help me, the only girl I can count on. By the time she came Jude was already out, buying a pregnancy test.

Long story short, the test turned out positive and on that same night Jude left the house yelling how this can’t be happening because he was ‘sixteen’. He’s not the one carrying a child inside of him! Well, I’m not sure if we broke up or not, but I plan on calling him later. It has been two weeks and I haven’t talked to him ever since that day. He refuses to talk to me in school, or even look at me. It’s ridiculous how he thinks it’s about himself before me.

Not only is Jude not talking to me, but I also have to break the news to mom and dad. I still am not sure if I should. Erin is suggesting that I tell them sooner rather than later… but I just don’t know.

<3Christina

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Blogger.com (on PRIVATE mode)
April 16th, 2006
10:06 AM

I got a chance to talk to Jude last night. He sounds like he does not care about us anymore and more about himself. I asked him why couldn’t he stay for me, for us? In response, he said that he did not want to have anything to do with me or the baby. I snapped back saying that it he has to deal with it because it was his sperm that leaked into my system.
That was when he paused and said that he has the choice to not support me if he wanted to.

What an ass.

Then he suggested about getting an abortion or else he would not talk to me anymore. I know the affects of having an abortion- mentally and physically and I am not up for that. Not only am I not ready to feel mentally and physically depressed, but I am not going to shove a metal tool up my vagina, into my uterus, to scrape a fetus out of my body. No sir. That is not going to happen to me.

I am totally against abortion!

As much as I would want Jude there for me, I can live without him if it means not getting an abortion because I chose not to.

<3Christina

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Wednesday - Art Elective.
April 19th, 2006
Dear Diary,

I am in art, and the teacher thinks I am sketching in my book or something. So the last time I wrote I was interrupted by a phone call from Kevin. Ironically he goes to Sierra Vista, the same high school as I do. I told him I never see him around school. He says it because he has a different lunch schedule than I do and has football practice after school to prepare for next year’s season. I’m telling you, this guy is such a gentleman. Enough about Kevin… I don’t want to ramble about a guy that I just met.

With Christina, I’ve been trying to help her out lately. Surprisingly she has not cried as dramatic as she cried that night of her pregnancy test discovery. I could tell that she is trying to act as if nothing has happened. But every time she passes by Jude in the hallway she starts tearing up, remembering the trouble she is going through. It is tough, but I know Christy’s a strong girl.

I will write more tonight… Ms. Shelley is telling me to put my ‘sketch book’ away and start painting up a real portrait.

-Erin

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Blogger.com
April 19th, 2006
1:15 PM

I can’t take it anymore!!!

Jude is in one of my classes and will not even stop to talk to me after I asked to talk with him after biology. I swear that boy has a lot of balls to be running away from his problems than trying to work it out.

I just don’t understand why he is suddenly turning his back on me. He said he was always going to be there for me. He said he’d never let me go. Even through the tough times with these girls in school he’s been there for me, but now he can’t bear to even look at me. I’ve already asked his friends to talk to him for me, but the same responses keep popping up “He doesn’t feel like talking now Chris, sorry.”

Jude seriously makes me feel like shit every time I walk by him.

Unbelievable how boys act now a days. I thought he would have been the one to help me, but unfortunately he has to be a typical boy who doesn’t give a crap except for himself.

Fuck Jude.

<3Christina

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Wednesday – Late Afternoon.
April 19th, 2006
Dear Diary,

So I’m at home, watching a movie while Christy is in the bathroom, taking a shower. She is sleeping over for the night- said that she needed the time away from her mom and dad because they’re putting a lot of pressure on her about school.

She told me about her conversation with Jude the other day. He told her to get an abortion- obviously to make things easier for him and her, but she told me she was totally against it. She mentioned that before she headed into the shower. I can see where Jude is coming from though, I mean he actually has a point about having an abortion. Even though abortion ‘kills a baby’, it will save Christy a whole lot of money and sacrifice that would have eventually been made, if she kept the baby, which she IS planning to do. To imagine she kept the baby? Things would be very hard on her than it is right now. She would be taking care of the baby, possibly during school and buying clothes, food and diapers-- money that could be spent on her college tuition by the time she graduates. She is only sophomore, and by the time she does have the baby, she will be in her junior year, trying to prepare for college, but because of the baby, she is going to be distracted and is not going to have the time to focus on her studies. I don’t know, maybe I am being too harsh on her situation.

But Christina needs to be rational. I hope she knows what she is doing.

-Erin

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Blogger.com
June 13th, 2006
7:28 PM

So it two months have passed and I am exhausted. School ends in about a week or so, and I cannot wait until that day comes. A lot has happened within the two months. For starters, a week or two after my breakdown about Jude in April, I told my coach that I was not going to be able to play softball for the rest of the school year. She looked disappointed though she looked like she knew that there had to be something wrong, so she curiously asked why. I was in her office when I told her, so I closed the door behind me and told her that there was personal reason why I am deciding to quit the team. Looking straight at me, she said that if I need any help that she is always there for me, as my coach or as a friend that I can depend on her for anything. I said thanks, and just left the room feeling terrible about the decision I had made.

After our conversation, I started to feel nauseous. I headed into the girls bathroom and was in front of the sink, in a position where I was ready to vomit. I looked at myself in the mirror, tears forming in my eyes, trying to figure out where all the pain is coming from. As I was looking at in the mirror, I start rubbing my stomach under my baggy sweater. I can feel how it has gotten bigger than it was two months ago. My stomach started irritating me, causing me to cough so much that I dropped my stuff and ran into the stall, leaned against the toilet and started throwing up. It was about 4 o’clock in the after noon, so I figured nobody would be around to hear me in the bathroom.

And so I thought…

That was when this girl walked into the bathroom. I didn't pay her any mind for the simple fact I was dealing with my own problem and did not want her to get involved. I continued to throw up after five minutes, and then finally came to a stop. I cleaned myself up from the sink and started to gather my things until the girl asked me if I were okay. I looked at her for a moment and recognized her from one of my classes. It is a very big class so I wasn’t able to remember her name. I responded to her telling her I “yeah, I’m fine,”

She quickly replied saying, “are you sure? I can get help if you want?”
I told her “it’s fine, it’s fine.”
As I left the bathroom, I told “thanks… for being concerned and all.”

After walking out of the school, I started to feel a little better.

Thirty minutes later, I got myself thinking about this baby and what to do.

I locked myself in my bedroom for the past couple of hours- ever since I got back from school. I took a shower, changed my clothes and started to clean up my room. Cleaning up is an odd way for me to get stuff out of my mind. I just tried to keep myself busy, but every time I passed by the mirror, I couldn't stop looking at my self.

I paused for a moment and started lifting up my shirt. In my head, I’m thinking “I can’t believe this is happening.” I mean for a sixteen year old girl, my stomach has gotten pretty big for the past few months.

Mom and dad do not know about my situation yet. I am too scared to tell them what happened to me. The way they are going to react is going to be too much stress on me, knowing how they might deal with me. They are going tell me how irresponsible I am like how every other parent would tell their pregnant child. Though in the long run I just hope, WISH, they could just help and support me as I am trying to carry this baby….

I mean I am thinking about telling them some time soon. Unfortunately, I know I am going to have to.

<3Christina

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Blogger.com
June 22nd, 2006
4:47 PM

You know what I’ve been noticing lately? Is that I haven’t been talking to Erin lately. Of course I see her in school and all, but about me being pregnant and all the personal things? I have not spoken to her about any of that. She is still cool with me, and every other person that I WOULDN’T talk to. I mean she still talks to Jude, which I find disrespectful in some ways, but that would be immature of me to be mad at her over a guy. Anyways, I feel like Erin has drifted away from me, like I lost my touch of being her best friend, and her being mine. I don’t know, I feel like if we keep this distance from each other we might learn to grow apart from each other which I wouldn’t want. I’ll probably call her later tonight or something to come over and have sleep over this weekend. It is officially summer time, so hopefully we can catch up on anything I haven’t told her or she hasn’t told me, yet.

<3Christina

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Friday – Afternoon.
June 23rd, 2006
Dear Diary,

Today in school Christina asked me to sleep over her house. Its pretty random for the simple fact we have not talked in a while. It is kind of awkward bring around Christina because I am afraid to offend her or bring up anything about her and Jude, so I stay shut most of the time when it is about her and her baby.

And did I mention that Christina’s baby is the new talk around school? Most of the girls in our grade have noticed, for the past few months, that Christy’s stomach has gotten bigger. Some of the girls have come up to me, asking if she has gained weight, because from the looks of it, she is hiding that belly of hers under a sweater in the middle of the summer in Las Vegas, Nevada. Now isn’t that weird? It is weird to the students who DON’T know about her situation. Some girls have already guessed about her being pregnant, but dare not to say anything—not just yet.

Well, I am heading to her house in about an hour or so. Not in such a bright mood to be heading over to her house. I hope I can recover from feeling like this.

-Erin

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Blogger.com
June 25th, 2006
10:19 PM

I feel like this sleep over did nothing to help Erin and I get closer than what we once were. She is my best friend and it’s so weird we are not as close as we used to be. She left the house leaving this strange vibe that she didn’t want to be around me anymore.

We stayed home all weekend instead of going out because of my condition and all. The things we used to do are not all that fun when I am about three months pregnant.

This whole weekend, I tried to talk to her as much as I used to, though she had nothing much to respond after I brought up a topic to talk about. Usually Erin would go on and on about what’s on her mind and questions things if she is curious about anything. But now our conversations are so dull. Like yesterday, we were in the kitchen making brownies and it got really quiet. So I asked her about that kid Kevin she was talking to at the party two months ago:

“So Erin, how’s that guy you’ve been talking to?”

“What guy?”

“You know… the guy from the party?”

“Um… I haven’t talked to any guy from any party”, that’s when she sounded offended.

“Well, I am talking about the guy from the party two months ago—who brought you home? Kevin? Isn’t that his name?”

“Oh…. Him. Oh yeah he’s fine. We’ve been hanging out here and there.”

“Really? Are you guys dating or did you make it official?”

“…Just dating.”

And that was the end of our boring conversation. It’s like she doesn’t want to tell me about what’s up in her life, or what she’s been going through. I mean she hasn’t asked about how I’ve been feeling or doing to deal with the pregnancy for the past two months. What the fuck is up with that? Maybe I am acting too selfish, but c’mon, a best friend has to be concerned about every once and a while right? This girl has not asked about me in a while, nor did she have anything to say about Softball, Jude, me, my life? Is it a bad thing that she hasn’t asked about me?

Enough about me, it is probably too quick to assume that she doesn’t want to be around me anymore.

<3 Christina

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Friday – Afternoon.
June 25th, 2006
Dear Diary,

What an uncomfortable weekend! The whole time Christy and I stayed in her house, watched T.V., was on the computer and baked brownies. B-O-R-I-N-G. I found myself feeling different around Christy and how I used to be around her. This is the first time in two months that I’ve slept over her house and hanging out with her does not feel the same as before. I don’t know, I just feel that we have been so distant from each other that I have grown out of our friendship and have been talking to other people about my problems instead of talking to her. It’s not that I have chosen the way we are now, I mean ever since the pregnancy we have not talked as much because I am afraid of how she might come out to me about her problems… I do not want to make her feel offended by me, reason why I keep my mouth shut about the baby or Jude.

And speaking of Jude, I talked to him the other day in the court-yard during lunch. He mentioned how he has not spoken to Christina in a while. It is a shame how he is not taking full responsibility of the situation. I told him that he should try talking and work things out again with her, but he refuses to even look at her. He says that he does not want to be involved in a child’s life at this age.

Typical.

-Erin

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Monday – Afternoon.
June 28th, 2006
Dear Diary,

What a day. Today was the last day of school, and man, what a way to end the school year. It was early dismissal today and I was standing by the entrance of the school, waiting for my friends to come out. I was with Kevin while the whole commotion happened. People were leaving the campus, students were screaming out ‘slut! Slut!’ A bunch of people was making a scene towards this one person walking out of school. It was hot so people were throwing water at each other, with water bottles, and some even brought water guns to school. I did not think that it was a big deal since everybody was hype for the last day of school and it would be the last to see people until two months, in September.

That was when I realized that people were yelling at Christina as she left the building. Majority of the people were boys calling her slut and the girls just followed and laughed, even her softball team was there, purposely pouring water directly on her head. She was drenched in water and nobody was doing anything about it—well of course, it was just water.

Worse enough, Jude was there, not doing anything to protect her.

I ran up to Christy to try to cover her from all the water, but she kept on walking, purposely not acknowledging my presence. It seemed like she did not want to get me involved by people throwing water at me, though by the look in her face she looked like she needed help.

She walked up to her mom’s car, paused to look at me and did not say one word. In the background, I could still hear people yelling at her, but she just ignored it. She slowly entered her mom’s car and drove away.

After she left, I turned around and started yelling at people; “what the hell is your problem! Why are you guys attacking Christy?

One of the boys yelled out “It was just for fun… and besides, she’s a slut! That bitch is pregnant and doesn't even know who the father is!” Then everybody started laughing.

Then I yelled “is that any of your business?! And besides, the father of that child is right next to you my friend, JUDE DELIAN!”

Everybody looked at Jude with a confused face. Jude started denying the whole thing and started to make up a story that she was fucked over by some guy at a party. He started calling her all these names to cover up the fact that I accused him, and surprisingly enough, people bought it—they actually believed him.

That was when I walked up to Jude and looked at him straight in the eye and said “how pathetic” Then walked away.

I felt relieved after letting that out. I don't know why, but it felt good saying that to Jude.

Kevin ended up taking me out to lunch, just to cool me down from everything that happened today—which really helped.

-Erin

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Blogger.com
June 29th, 2006
7:00 AM

I hate my life.


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Blogger.com
June 29th, 2006
3:50 PM

What a night to remember. Yesterday I probably experienced the worst day of my life. It was the last day of school and I walked out of class thinking ‘finally a day I could go home and not go to school for the next two months.’ As soon as I walked out of class, I noticed a whole bunch of kids outside in the hallway, throwing paper around- celebrating that it was the last day of school. I looked at them for a moment, and grinned, then started walking towards the front of school. Suddenly the same crowd of students that were throwing the paper around started yelling “hey slut!” I ignored the call, assuming it was for some other girl that was possibly joking around with some other girl. Then a whole bunch of guys started yelling ‘Christina is a slut!’ Then they all started laughing.

To my response, I immediately started walking towards my mom car that I had borrowed for the day.

I heard the calls getting louder and louder, soon enough the crowd who kept calling me a slut was right behind me. I did not do anything about the people yelling at me. I just kept on walking, tried my best to ignore the people that were all in my face. The started throwing water at me with e water bottles they had and they also had water guns that they started to spray me with. Deep inside I felt this rage. Why is this happening to me? What did I do that made them so hectic about me being a slut? I did not doing anything out of the ordinary in the past two month. All I have done was go to school and go home because of my pregnancy.

It came to my attention that Jude was in that same crowd. I felt betrayed. I knew he had something to do with the mess.

Then I see Erin run up to me, trying to protect me from the people who were abusing me. I did not want to ruin her rep, as bad as my rep was already ruined, so I tried to ignore her so she would not get as hurt as me. But, to my surprise I felt a little better that she was there. I know we have not been close in a couple of days, but it felt good that she was there for me.

However, that was not the end of my day. As I was driving home, I felt this pain inside, as if I were being cut from the inside out. I started crying in the car, just to let it all out. I arrived home around thirty minutes later. Mom was home so it was tough trying to ignore the fact that something had happened to me in school. I told her I felt sick so I ran straight into the bathroom to take a quick shower and dressed up; leaving no sign that anything happened. After my shower, I went into my room and closed the door behind me. I lied down on the bed, looking at the ceiling, thinking about everything that happened. I thought about calling Erin to thank her, but I didn't. Just the thought of it made me cry all over again—that was when my mom walked in.

Quickly I tried to wipe away my tears, but like every mother, she tried to figure out what was wrong. I told her it was nothing, but she did not believe me—obviously. I eventually told her about what happened to me and how the kids in school were treating me. She asked why and I told her I do not know. She said there has to be some reason they came at me in a negative way.

For five minutes I stayed silent not saying a single word about what was truly wrong with me. I took a deep breath and told her “Mom… I am pregnant.”

Astonished by the news, she kept quiet for ten minutes then spoke again. She did not ask me ‘why’ it happened—Common sense that most teens would not plan their early pregnancy. Instead, she asked me, ‘How? How did this happen to you?” Probably assumed I was raped or something, I told her the details of my story and how I ended up in the middle of a mob of students calling me names. I was relieved to know that she was willing to listen, so described every detail for her to understand exactly what happened to me.

I started off with Jude and how he is most likely the father, but he is not taking the initiative to support me because that same night when I found out I was pregnant—he broke up with me and left the house. She interrupted me and said, “I am not surprised. I never trusted the boy anyway.” I continued the story by telling her that Erin was there to support me for the rest of the night. In my mom’s response she said “Thank God.”

She asked if I have talked to Jude ever since the incident and I told her “yeah a couple of weeks ago. He basically told me if I do not get an abortion then he will not talk to me anymore—and he kept his word. I have not talked to the guy since our last conversation.”

After I told her what happened, I apologized for putting her in a difficult position. She started tearing up, telling me “its okay, we can work through this, but in one condition.”

I asked her “what?”

“You cannot let Jude part of the child’s life, do you understand?”

“Why not mom, he is the father of the baby.”

“No father of a baby denies his own child”

As hard as it was, I agreed to her request. She left out a deep breath of air and gave me a long hug and assured me that everything was going to be okay.

After realizing that my mom knew, I quickly looked at her and asked “what about dad?”

She told me that she would at one point break it down to him. My dad is a tough guy, so knowing that I am pregnant is not going to be easy for him. Surely, he would kill Jude if he ever sees the guy again in our house.

We ended the conversation by walking downstairs to the kitchen. As I walking down I kept thinking how well my mom took the crazy news. When we reached the kitchen, I gave her a hug and said “thank you mom.”

“Anything for you Christina. Your dad and I love you and will do anything to provide for you. Remember that”

<3Christina

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Sunday - Evening.
July 2nd, 2006
Dear Diary,

It is my last day in Las Vegas until I head to a summer camp in California for a month and a half. I spent some time with Kevin, but not enough with Christina since the last day of school. I have tried contacting her on the 30th, but no answer from her cell or her house phone. Not even her parents picked up. I assumed they went out of town or something because when ever I drove by her house, there was no car in the drive way. I left a voicemail, asking if she was okay, and to call me anytime while I am in camp. In the end of the voicemail I told her we must hang out when I come back from camp.

Now I am packing up last minute things. I will be leaving around 7 AM to get to the orientation that starts at like, 10 o’clock AM. It is almost midnight and I am too excited to sleep! Well I am going to leave my Diary here because I know I am going to be busy all summer!

-Erin

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Blogger.com
July 7th, 2006
11 AM

The first week of July had passed and I must say, I feel better about myself now that I have the support of my mom AND dad. On the Monday that passed, my mom talk to my dad for me, and asked me to come down the stairs, from my room, after she broke down the news to him. He looked mad, but kept his cool by asking me about fifty questions—literally.

On Wednesday, my mom and dad took me to this place where teen moms can talk with each other about how they feel and what the experience is like for the girl and the father of their baby. At first I was feeling uncomfortable because I did not know anybody. I recognized this one girl, but she wasn’t pregnant, nor did she have a child with her. She actually worked there, and as she was speaking to all of the girls, I started to remember who she was. She was the same girl from the bathroom, when she caught me throwing up. Embarrassed, I tried to avoid her, so she wouldn’t have to bring that moment up again. But she came up to me and asked “Christina right?”

I looked up and said, “yes?”

“Hi, I’m Mary… I was that girl in the bathroom that tried to help you?”

“Yeah, I remember… thanks again.”

“Your welcome.” Then she handed me three books. “Here are some books you should read while you are here with us.” She handed me ‘What to Expect When You’re Expecting’ and ‘I'm Pregnant!: A Week-by-Week Guide from Conception to Delivery’. She said those two books will keep me updated on what is going on with my body and how it is developing as my baby is growing. The third and last book she gave me is called ‘Tuesdays with Morrie’. I read the first few pages and the back of the book. Confused, I asked her, “Does this book have anything to do with being pregnant?”

“No, but just read it and I am sure it will help you… it sure helped me.”

Since I am in the program for the whole summer, I think I am going to read a couple of chapters every week. So far, the book is getting good. It’s about a retired professor who found out he had a couple of weeks to live and his old student visits him on Tuesdays, giving him lessons on life. So far these are my favorite quotes:

(Talk about the world)
“The most important thing in life is to learn how you give out love, and to let it come in.” “Let it come in. We think we don’t deserve love, we think if we let it in we’ll become too soft. But a wise man named Levin said it right. He said, ‘Love is the only rational act.’” (52).

(Feeling sorry for ourselves)
“Don’t allow [yourself] any more self-pity than that. A little each morning, a few tears, and that’s all.” (57)

I think these quotes stood out to me the most because lately I haven’t cried over my baby, and accepting the fact that I am going to have the child. And that I have the love and support I need from my family.

<3Christina

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Blogger.com
July 14th, 2006
6:30 PM

Favorite Quotes of this week:

(Death)
“Even I don’t know what spiritual development really means. But I do know we’re deficient in some way. We are too involved in materialistic things, and they don’t satisfy us. The loving relationships we have, the universe around us, we take these things for granted.” (84)

(Family)
“The fact it, there is no foundation, no secure ground, upon which people may stand today if it isn’t the family. It’s become quite clear to me as I’ve been sick. If you don’t have the support and love and caring and concern that you get from a family, you don’t have much at all. Love is so supremely important. As our great poet Auden said, ‘Love each other or perish.’” (91).

<3Christina

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Blogger.com
July 21st, 2006
10:36 PM

(Emotions)
“But by throwing yourself into these emotions, by allowing yourself to dive in, all the way, over your head even, you experience them fully and completely. You know what pain is. You know what love is. You know what grief is. And only then can you say, ‘All right. I have experienced that emotion. I recognize that emotion. Now I need to detach from that emotion of a moment.’” (104).

Letting go of my emotion is hard. So hard, that each day I have this quote right by bed, framed—may I add, to remind myself that I am the only one who can pick myself up when I am hurt. Not Jude, not the people from school and not even my parents, at times. To let go of my pain is to let go of all emotions of feeling sad and depressed.

<3 Christina

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Blogger.com
July 28th, 2006
7:17 PM

(Love)
“Part of the problem is that everyone is in such a hurry, people haven’t found meaning in their lives, so they’re running all the time looking for it. They think the next car, the next house, the next job. Then they find those things are empty, too, and they keep running.” (136).

(Culture)
“People are only mean when they’re threatened,” “and that’s what culture does…” (154).

And that is exactly how Jude is acting. Mean. Because of his friends, because of the people in school, because of the rep he ‘has’ to protect, he is acting like an asshole. It just shows how much he has to please ‘society’ just to fit in. Thank God I am not talking to him anymore. I let go of the pain he had given me by leaving me alone, and I will keep him away so I do not need to feel pain anymore.

<3Christina

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Blogger.com
August 5th, 2006
1 AM

(forgiveness)
“For all the things we didn’t do. All the things we should have done. You can’t get stuck on the regrets of what should have happened. That doesn’t help you…” (166).

Oh… I can forgive Jude. I just don’t want him a part of my life anymore. I guess that means I have not forgiven him yet. Someday day I will though… That day will surely come. But not now.

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Blogger.com
August 11th, 2006
1 AM

Week 5 (Perfect Day)

“There is no formula to relationships. They have to be negotiated in loving ways, with room for both parties, what they want and what they need, what they can do and what their life is like. In business, people negotiate to win. They negotiate to get what they want. Maybe you’re too used to that. Love is different. Love is when you are as concerned about someone else’s situation as you are about your own.” (178).

Enough said.

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August 18, 2006, Friday
BREAKING NEWS

News Channel 3
NBC News - LAS VEGAS

“Live on the Las Vegas Strip, Angela Martin has the news”

“Thanks Kim, I am live at the scene where a Ford Mustang struck into a Toyota, leaving two people in the Toyota critically injured, and the driver of the For Mustang dead.”

“Eyewitnesses say that the Toyota was waiting for the light to change to green, meanwhile the Mustang ran the red light colliding into the right side of the Toyota. The driver of the Toyota has various cuts and bruise, and the young woman in the passenger seat is badly injured, though both are going to be fine.”

Kim: “And the man in the Mustang?”

“It seems that the gentleman was drunk due to the empty cans of beer found, crushed, on the passenger of his car. He was pronounced dead as police and fire fighters tried to get the victims out of the vehicles.”

Kim: “Thank you Angela”. In the studio, Kim: “Now the names for the two victims who have survived the fatal incident are unknown, but will be released shortly.”

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Monday – Afternoon.
August 19th, 2006
Dear Diary,

I do not have much time; I just came back from camp a while ago—a little after 7 PM. Christina is in the hospital. I do not know what happened, but on NBC news at 5, they announced that the young woman and her mother are recovering from the incident and the name of the two victims goes by “Christina Gomez and her mother Cynthia Gomez”. Now I am rushing to the hospital.

-Erin

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September 1st, 2006, Friday
TODAY on NBC

Matt Lauer: “On August the 18th, Christina Gomez and her mother, Cynthia, experienced a tragic accident that would have killed them both, but instead a young baby girl.” “Sixteen year old Christina Gomez was 5 months pregnant when the accident occurred. Her mother, driving the car, said she was just obeying the law.”

Cynthia Gomez: “My daughter and I were on our way home from a study group for teen mom’s. We were by the Strip, the light was still red, and as it turned green, I started driving until another car hit my car, driving into my daughter’s side of the car.”

Matt Lauer: “How are you both doing now?”
Cynthia Gomez: “We are both fine now, we still have bruises from the incident, but we are still recovering.”

Matt Lauer: “And Christina, I understand you had a baby, who was 5 months pregnant.” [Pause] “How are you recovering for the incident?”

Christina: [Tearing up] “Well it was unfortunate of me to lose my baby, and I know a lot of parents watching may be thinking how I am too young to have a child. Not saying that I am ready, because I still am a teenage girl. I am deeply heart broken that Angel Miranda Gomez, my baby’s name, is gone, but she has taught so much that an ordinary teenager would have not known.”

Matt Lauer: “Really? And what have you learned?”

Christina: “Even though it kills me inside that I lost my child, I experienced so much through the process of trying to raise her inside of me. I grew to be independent, and to realize to forgive others, like the driver who collided into our car. If I were to a hold a grudge against a man who is no longer alive, I would be happy about myself. Of course I am devastated by the incident, but am I grateful to be still alive. Even though Angel is gone, I feel like I have gotten a second chance to make my life even better than it was before, with the support of my family and close friends.

Matt Lauer: “I am sorry for the lost of your child and wish you well in the future.”

Christina: Thank you.